It was in lower Montreuil, in a seemingly quiet neighborhood, that an inexplicable and unexpected tragedy occurred during the night of Wednesday, October 22 to Thursday, October 23. Passersby noticed a sudden glow: the cab of a crane was on fire, causing chaos and widespread panic.
The firefighters were slow to arrive. This gave the fire time to cause considerable, irreversible, and unspeakable damage. Although relatively invisible from the street except for the blackened windows of the cabin, the significant impact of this fire was revealed to us by a source close to the investigation. The cabin, burned out from the inside, is now completely unusable.
The vehicle in question was located on the Imava construction site at 65 bis rue Voltaire, the real estate developer that evicted the squat known as La Baudrière in August 2022. This construction site is currently at a standstill.
Shortly afterwards, we received a text containing an interview with an expert on the event in question. Will it shed light on this very dark affair? We sincerely hope so.
A crane on fire: what do the experts think?
Laurent (presenter). Good evening and welcome to the set of “We’re not sleeping because there’s too much stuff to burn.” Today we welcome Camille, crane expert, with whom we will discuss the fire at the Imava crane in Montreuil, which has affected us deeply. Before we begin, Camille, can you tell us a few words about craneology?
Camille (guest). Good evening, Laurent. My name is Camille, my real name is Camille Camille, and I define myself more as an OIIA-logist: I study Intrinsically Inanimate Objects. Craneology is a small branch of this discipline.
Laurent. What other OIIAs have you had the opportunity to study?
Camille. Mainly toasters.
Laurent. What qualifies you to speak on such a serious subject as cranes on fire?
Camille. Nothing, except your invitation.
Laurent. Okay, before we continue, can you tell me how I should refer to your gender? Inclusive writing in speech is a bit of a pain.
Camille. I’m sorry I can’t help you there, Laurent. I was born before gender was invented, so I don’t know mine.
Laurent. Where did you grow up?
Camille. In the northwest of the southeast of the extreme center of France, in a tiny village of 300,000 inhabitants.
Laurent. Does that exist?
Camille. Yes, if you count the cows.
Laurent. Now let’s move on to the hottest news story of the moment. A crane cabin catches fire: was it an accident at work? In any case, that’s what the labor court is wondering.
Camille. Um, I don’t think so.
Laurent. I saw on TikTok that certain types of machinery, particularly cranes in Montreuil, tend to burn their own cabins when they mutate. Could this be a natural stage in their evolution?
Camille. Can I ask if you’re a cop?
Laurent. It’s completely unrelated to my previous question, but I can tell you that I did my junior high internship at a police station.
Camille. Okay.
Laurent. Do you have anything to say?
Camille. Not really, except that cranes obviously burn, and I wouldn’t recommend trying that at home.
Laurent. I don’t have a crane at home.
Camille. Good, because it’s not a pet.
Laurent. Great, so let’s move straight on to our special Halloween report: “The Hard Life of Vegan Vampires.” Thank you, and see you soon.
Source: Indymedia Nantes
Translated by Dark Nights
